[ Emet-Selch's eyes follow Hythlodaeus' hand without realising it, feeling overwhelmed and uncertain before he breathes out and forces himself to look elsewhere. It still hurts, a deep ache inside of him, all the things he had done and all the people he had lost and forgotten.
It hurts. ]
Another life. Do you truly believe I have earned such a thing?
[ The mirth, the showmanship, disappear from his face in an instant, and Hythlodaeus reaches his hands to cup Emet-Selch's face gently, looking into his eyes with all that he has.
The pain, its deep roots attempting to tarnish his very soul, but that soul was ever so, so bright... even ages and ages of hurting, both himself and others, has not darkened it. ]
Hades...
[ Hythlodaeus takes in a deep breath, trying to seek out words that fit what he feels, what he thinks. ]
I do believe, my dear, dear friend. If it is not happening immediately, it is not because you fail to deserve it, or anything else good, but only because you have earned a rest.
For whatever you have done, it cannot have been only ill, or only wrong. I know you. [ Through and through. ] And that is why I believe.
[ It is an intensely tender moment and there are few people in the world he would allow it from.
Hythlodaeus, as he often does, tops that list, without any hesitation. His dearest friend, image remade in agony and hurt, come to life in front of him.
It is beautiful and heartbreaking the more he endures it. ]
A rest? I highly doubt many would dare suggest that I had earned any measure of break or relaxation with all that I have done.
[ He shifts, leaning a little closer, smothering his own feelings. ]
You believe in second chances. You are among the few.
[ The way those parts of him get pushed down makes Hythlodaeus's brow scrunch in, but he only shifts closer to Emet-Selch, rather than trying to stop him. There is time. There will be a lot of time, he knows. He will make time, if he has to. ]
I believe you did your best by the star, as much as you knew how. I believe this with all of myself, and so, yes, second chances will be real, and yours will be well-earned.
But rest... it is needed, before you have to face more trials. And another chance will test you again. Test each of us, and I am not sure if witnessing our tests would not be harder on you than your own. And you have spent your strength, given it out to the world, over and over again. Let me lend you mine, until yours recovers, hmm?
I did all that was within my power to do. It was not enough, I know that now, but at least it was something.
[ He notes Hythlodaeus creeping closer and sighs, reaching out to offer his hand - for himself and his friend both, to anchor them together. ]
How will you give me your strength? You know as well as I do that there is nothing in me that will take your words. I want peace and quiet, at least for a little while.
[ Softly, and he squeezes the offered hand - gently. ]
You must know me enough to be aware that peace and quiet are not completely out of the question. And, so long as you're near, I'll be content with that, myself. So let us find a comfortable place for it, hmm?
[ Hythlodaeus much wants to ask, does Hades truly believe he is undeserving of second chances, but this is not the time. Perhaps, in a century or so. Not now.
Instead, he finds them a sweetly-colored cranny where they can curl up and just... be. ]
You spoke true, you know. Let us be comforted. Because I am, with you near, too.
[ There is so much time ahead of them and he knows that, recognises it for what it is - he feels suddenly overwhelmed at the notion of a future, something he has not considered for a very, very long time.
He wants to rest. Perhaps he has not truly earned that, but he wants it all the same, his shoulders sagging just so. ]
Are you? [ Reaching out, he touches Hythlodaeus' face. ] I made a falsehood of you and denied it memories of the truth. How could you stand at my side?
[ Hythlodaeus half-closes his eyes, leans into the touch without hesitation, like he is starved for it (he is). Then he blinks, with a little more focus even as he moves his body, to hold and mold itself around Emet-Selch's, protective. ]
Not... not falsehood, unless painting someone's likeness would be a falsehood.
I remember, back then, you talked about it being disrespect, when you were told you would do that. But... so much was lost. To you, to all of us. So you made a stand-in, to exist in some way until we would return. Magick on such a scale would be beyond anyone but you, and I am glad to learn that I was there. You... you said that you would not dismiss me completely from your side, and you did not.
[ It was painful, agonising, to hear echoed words surround him and not be able to see his friend, hale and whole and content to be there. It had felt like a betrayal, despite the necessity of it, and swallowing back his pain is something that is difficult to do.
Lifting his head to the sky, he forces himself to breathe. ]
None of you will return the way that you were meant.
[ There is a nigh eternity in the lifestream for Hades to shrug off his pain and grow, but he does not want to think of it. He does not want to imagine the changes that will come with his own self-forgiveness.
He has oft struggled with joy, for all the pretence he carries. ]
[ Despite the worry for Emet-Selch, Hythlodaeus smiles, gently, and a little brighter than before. ]
That's me, as always. But before hope, there is rest.
My likeness, soulless or no. You ever knew me far too well to get me wrong. It was not me, and that must have been excruciating for you, but it was also a part of me. And had I remembered... I would have given you permission.
[ He would have, too. Because he knows that he is needed, however weak and useless he may be, and such a long time... alone. He does not wish that to his friend. ]
[ Hythlodaeus lets out a sharp breath, then moves, to embrace Hades and hold on, reading the body language and finally giving in to just. How he wants to be, twined with him as close as he can be. ]
No longer. It is over, Hades, the nightmare is finally over.
I'm here.
[ He can see so much... so much pain. A yawning abyss in Hades's eons of existence which, Hythlodaeus is sure, will keep sucking him back in for a while yet. His friend, whose tongue is sharp but heart is soft, has suffered, and he can only give this. Reassurance, calm, and time. ]
[ It is difficult to not break, to fall to pieces, but he leans into Hythlodaeus and settles down, allowing some of his racing heart to settle and soften.
His eyes close and he breathes out. ]
You are here. And I will not let you go again. This I do swear.
[ He feels as though he has been shattered, and that is a difficult enough thing - but he must muster himself somehow, and there is no better person to have at his side.
This is true enough, at least. ]
Oh, do you? Perhaps that is something we ought to indulge in, in our time.
[ ... and in those thousands of years... Hythlodaeus has not learned to resist Hades's heated cheeks. So he leans in and brushes his lips over one and then the other cheekbone. Feather light but drinking in the heat. ]
Well then. Hold away. [ A little crane of the neck, and words against Hades's ear, not that it's needed, alone as they are, other than as a sensation. ] I have no intention to slip through your fingers.
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It hurts. ]
Another life. Do you truly believe I have earned such a thing?
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The pain, its deep roots attempting to tarnish his very soul, but that soul was ever so, so bright... even ages and ages of hurting, both himself and others, has not darkened it. ]
Hades...
[ Hythlodaeus takes in a deep breath, trying to seek out words that fit what he feels, what he thinks. ]
I do believe, my dear, dear friend. If it is not happening immediately, it is not because you fail to deserve it, or anything else good, but only because you have earned a rest.
For whatever you have done, it cannot have been only ill, or only wrong. I know you. [ Through and through. ] And that is why I believe.
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Hythlodaeus, as he often does, tops that list, without any hesitation. His dearest friend, image remade in agony and hurt, come to life in front of him.
It is beautiful and heartbreaking the more he endures it. ]
A rest? I highly doubt many would dare suggest that I had earned any measure of break or relaxation with all that I have done.
[ He shifts, leaning a little closer, smothering his own feelings. ]
You believe in second chances. You are among the few.
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I believe you did your best by the star, as much as you knew how. I believe this with all of myself, and so, yes, second chances will be real, and yours will be well-earned.
But rest... it is needed, before you have to face more trials. And another chance will test you again. Test each of us, and I am not sure if witnessing our tests would not be harder on you than your own. And you have spent your strength, given it out to the world, over and over again. Let me lend you mine, until yours recovers, hmm?
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[ He notes Hythlodaeus creeping closer and sighs, reaching out to offer his hand - for himself and his friend both, to anchor them together. ]
How will you give me your strength? You know as well as I do that there is nothing in me that will take your words. I want peace and quiet, at least for a little while.
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[ Softly, and he squeezes the offered hand - gently. ]
You must know me enough to be aware that peace and quiet are not completely out of the question. And, so long as you're near, I'll be content with that, myself. So let us find a comfortable place for it, hmm?
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I know you can muster yourself, manage yourself well enough. I trust you in that.
[ He takes a step forward, almost nervous about it. ]
Let us go and be comforted, then.
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Instead, he finds them a sweetly-colored cranny where they can curl up and just... be. ]
You spoke true, you know. Let us be comforted. Because I am, with you near, too.
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He wants to rest. Perhaps he has not truly earned that, but he wants it all the same, his shoulders sagging just so. ]
Are you? [ Reaching out, he touches Hythlodaeus' face. ] I made a falsehood of you and denied it memories of the truth. How could you stand at my side?
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Not... not falsehood, unless painting someone's likeness would be a falsehood.
I remember, back then, you talked about it being disrespect, when you were told you would do that. But... so much was lost. To you, to all of us. So you made a stand-in, to exist in some way until we would return. Magick on such a scale would be beyond anyone but you, and I am glad to learn that I was there. You... you said that you would not dismiss me completely from your side, and you did not.
And what memories did you deny, hmm?
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[ It was painful, agonising, to hear echoed words surround him and not be able to see his friend, hale and whole and content to be there. It had felt like a betrayal, despite the necessity of it, and swallowing back his pain is something that is difficult to do.
Lifting his head to the sky, he forces himself to breathe. ]
None of you will return the way that you were meant.
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There are some things that need to be let out in full, especially after they have festered... ]
It has been so long. Perhaps it will be better to start anew. With hearts filled with hope.
[ How long has it been since his Hades had felt hope, Hythlodaeus wonders. ]
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He has oft struggled with joy, for all the pretence he carries. ]
Hearts filled with hope. Sentimental fool.
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That's me, as always. But before hope, there is rest.
My likeness, soulless or no. You ever knew me far too well to get me wrong. It was not me, and that must have been excruciating for you, but it was also a part of me. And had I remembered... I would have given you permission.
[ He would have, too. Because he knows that he is needed, however weak and useless he may be, and such a long time... alone. He does not wish that to his friend. ]
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Of course you would have. I doubt there is much I might have done that would truly have offended you.
[ He shifts a little closer, longing for the contact, the comfort, without having the ability to say the words aloud. ]
It was enough but not. I could see you, walk with you, near enough, but not know you. It was a waking nightmare.
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No longer. It is over, Hades, the nightmare is finally over.
I'm here.
[ He can see so much... so much pain. A yawning abyss in Hades's eons of existence which, Hythlodaeus is sure, will keep sucking him back in for a while yet. His friend, whose tongue is sharp but heart is soft, has suffered, and he can only give this. Reassurance, calm, and time. ]
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His eyes close and he breathes out. ]
You are here. And I will not let you go again. This I do swear.
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Hythlodaeus smiles, relaxing, too. ]
Well, that's good. I have a rather strong preference by being held by you.
[ So, so easy to phrase his own longing in a light-hearted way. ]
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This is true enough, at least. ]
Oh, do you? Perhaps that is something we ought to indulge in, in our time.
[ They have quite a long time, after all. ]
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[ Hythlodaeus smiles, eyes clear. ]
Just as you are not letting me go, I am not going anywhere, either. I hope you are prepared for that.
[ Nobody is prepared for that, Hythlodaeus has made a great effort to not be clingy before. He has absolutely no such issue now. ]
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[ His eyes glance over, his cheeks a touch red, and he scoffs. ]
We'd best make short work of that, then.
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Well then. Hold away. [ A little crane of the neck, and words against Hades's ear, not that it's needed, alone as they are, other than as a sensation. ] I have no intention to slip through your fingers.
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You are a monster, as terrible as the ones created long ago.
[ But he reaches to tug him closer, to wrap his arms around Hythlodaeus all the same. ]
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Well then. I have to live up to that in the future, clearly. I can't have you disappointed.
[ With his nose, he traces the curve of Hades's cheek, then a line to right beneath, then behind, the earlobe. ]
Or is that, I should become more monstrous?
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But he scoffs. ]
No, I have prepared enough of that for this lifetime.
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