[ Hythlodaeus's smile is small, but so, so bright, lighting up his face and aether both. His fingers twitch slightly at the kiss, and he inclines his head. ]
Exactly where I was ever meant to be.
[ Without letting go, he finds a way to settle even while adrift, opening his free arm to invite his friend to be held - or even to stretch out with his head in Hythlodaeus's lap. Anything goes. ]
[ Hythlodaeus laughs, lightly, and wraps himself around Hades. Soft, indeed. His hand comes up to play with the soft, dark strands for a while, merely... holding. ]
Over this time. Did your mind play tricks on you, thinking I was harsher?
[ Mischief can be complicated, but Hythlodaeus has rarely had any desire to be unkind. But it has been so long for Hades, and time can play very unpleasant tricks. ]
[ Memories can become clouded, darkened with danger and grief and hurt. It would come as no shock to imagine that he would damn himself with memories of a friend long gone. ]
Hmm. [ Hythlodaeus watches him for a long moment. ] Shock, no. [ Worry, perhaps, but not shock. But he's unlikely to express worry when he can focus on making things better instead. ]
What else do you wonder if you remember right, then?
[ Hythlodaeus reaches up, cupping Hades's face with both palms. This...
He can't make it better, because while it never scarred Hythlodaeus the way it seemed to have hurt Hermes, he was not blind to the imperfection around them. The little cracks that kept Azem occupied, that necessitated the seat of the Emissary.
So he cannot reassure him that it was perfect.
But... ]
It was ours, Hades. Mine and yours and ours. It was also... more peaceful and happier than how things are now. And then it was taken away.
And some of the choice on whether to appraise the comparison was also taken from you.
Nothing will get fixed, nothing can return to how things were, but butter things may get. Depending on the definition of better. Hythlodaeus is sorry that all he can offer in lieu of the beautiful world they lost is himself. Paltry, by comparison. But that is not going to stop him from being right there.
Because to him, Hades being close is enough. He grieves, of course, and Azem being here as well would have made this complete, but his heart is full as they are too. He only wishes that he could grant that peace to Hades.
But that, he knows, will take a while. And he is willing to give them both this time. ]
Your assessments - I have never found them lacking, in any way. Them, nor anything else about you.
[ There is no undoing, no remaking, no going back, and he has been forced to accept that with the most intense of reminders. The Warrior of Light had done a rather formidable job of ensuring he would not forget it.
He has time enough in the future to recover, to heal, to be whole once more, and he has the gift of Hythlodaeus at his side as well.
Laughing softly, he turns to look at his partner properly, feeling the softness overtake him. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ He's absolutely keeping the lightness, though his smile softens. ]
It was never going to be otherwise. It just took a little longer than I expected. But now I am where I should be.
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[ He lifts Hythlodaeus' hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss against his fingers. ]
And I shall not allow you to leave again.
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Exactly where I was ever meant to be.
[ Without letting go, he finds a way to settle even while adrift, opening his free arm to invite his friend to be held - or even to stretch out with his head in Hythlodaeus's lap. Anything goes. ]
Come, Hades. Rest against me a while.
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As soft as you have always been.
[ But that doesn't stop him from moving, to lean, to sink into the embrace. ]
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Over this time. Did your mind play tricks on you, thinking I was harsher?
[ Mischief can be complicated, but Hythlodaeus has rarely had any desire to be unkind. But it has been so long for Hades, and time can play very unpleasant tricks. ]
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[ Memories can become clouded, darkened with danger and grief and hurt. It would come as no shock to imagine that he would damn himself with memories of a friend long gone. ]
It would not shock, I am sure.
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What else do you wonder if you remember right, then?
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[ He sounds sad; sour. ]
All this fighting for something that may not have been perfect to begin with.
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[ Hythlodaeus reaches up, cupping Hades's face with both palms. This...
He can't make it better, because while it never scarred Hythlodaeus the way it seemed to have hurt Hermes, he was not blind to the imperfection around them. The little cracks that kept Azem occupied, that necessitated the seat of the Emissary.
So he cannot reassure him that it was perfect.
But... ]
It was ours, Hades. Mine and yours and ours. It was also... more peaceful and happier than how things are now. And then it was taken away.
And some of the choice on whether to appraise the comparison was also taken from you.
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Nothing will get fixed; nothing will get better. There's no undoing it now and all they have in front of them is the possibility of a better future.
It is impossible for them to go back. He knows that now, securely. But he can wish. ]
I suppose you are correct. I have hardly had much opportunity for correct assessments.
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[ Soft, and so, so sweet.
Nothing will get fixed, nothing can return to how things were, but butter things may get. Depending on the definition of better. Hythlodaeus is sorry that all he can offer in lieu of the beautiful world they lost is himself. Paltry, by comparison. But that is not going to stop him from being right there.
Because to him, Hades being close is enough. He grieves, of course, and Azem being here as well would have made this complete, but his heart is full as they are too. He only wishes that he could grant that peace to Hades.
But that, he knows, will take a while. And he is willing to give them both this time. ]
Your assessments - I have never found them lacking, in any way. Them, nor anything else about you.
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He has time enough in the future to recover, to heal, to be whole once more, and he has the gift of Hythlodaeus at his side as well.
Laughing softly, he turns to look at his partner properly, feeling the softness overtake him. ]
You must stop complimenting me.
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[ Without even a beat of hesitation, as though the millennia between their happy days and the present have never happened.
His smile glimmers on, illuminating both his face and his aether. ]
Besides, is it a compliment when it's true?