[ It's fine, Hythlodaeus slot himself so closely and comfortably that he might be clinging, himself. Which he is.
And while he hasn't been fully aware all the time that Hades has been waiting, Hythlodaeus has been there, severed from everything and just about everyone. So, yes, he's clinging, too. Even if it is, right now, mostly for the sake of reassuring Hades, it is a need of his own, too. ]
You have prepared? For me? [ A very theatrical, exaggerated gasp even while he doesn't move an ilm away. ] I'm flattered.
[ There is a certain amount of brooding that Hythlodaeus will dispel with utter ridiculousness. For both of them, and on the force of habits that have endured, well. A long time. ]
[ It's all right. Hythlodaeus can wait until it's again natural and right for Hades to reach for him, rather than something he needs to muster himself from doing. For now, Hythlodaeus will stay close, reminding, reminding that he won't be going away, won't be slipping out of reach again.
A soft chuckle. ]
As you wish. Though you know I am a little less particular about what I do take to heart, hmm?
[ Emet-Selch recognises the fact that he is struggling, that he has new bounds to leap over; he has to adjust to a new world, a new way of thinking, a new sharpness. It's the weight of emotion that had been stolen from him, ripped from him, forced back in.
He shakes his head, looking at Hythlodaeus with a gentle, tender fondness. ]
[ A raised eyebrow because ... what hasn't altered over the years? And are they ready for this pain quite yet? But mostly, his hand soothes Hades's cheek, and he melts into the shift, the drawing closer - and he holds Hades back, unhesitatingly, comfortably. No, he had no trouble recognizing the embrace for what it is. ]
I rather think you found me insufferable some of the time, or so it might have looked to many. But I knew... I did not belong anywhere but at your side. And I still do.
[ Hythlodaeus's smile is small, but so, so bright, lighting up his face and aether both. His fingers twitch slightly at the kiss, and he inclines his head. ]
Exactly where I was ever meant to be.
[ Without letting go, he finds a way to settle even while adrift, opening his free arm to invite his friend to be held - or even to stretch out with his head in Hythlodaeus's lap. Anything goes. ]
[ Hythlodaeus laughs, lightly, and wraps himself around Hades. Soft, indeed. His hand comes up to play with the soft, dark strands for a while, merely... holding. ]
Over this time. Did your mind play tricks on you, thinking I was harsher?
[ Mischief can be complicated, but Hythlodaeus has rarely had any desire to be unkind. But it has been so long for Hades, and time can play very unpleasant tricks. ]
[ Memories can become clouded, darkened with danger and grief and hurt. It would come as no shock to imagine that he would damn himself with memories of a friend long gone. ]
Hmm. [ Hythlodaeus watches him for a long moment. ] Shock, no. [ Worry, perhaps, but not shock. But he's unlikely to express worry when he can focus on making things better instead. ]
What else do you wonder if you remember right, then?
[ Hythlodaeus reaches up, cupping Hades's face with both palms. This...
He can't make it better, because while it never scarred Hythlodaeus the way it seemed to have hurt Hermes, he was not blind to the imperfection around them. The little cracks that kept Azem occupied, that necessitated the seat of the Emissary.
So he cannot reassure him that it was perfect.
But... ]
It was ours, Hades. Mine and yours and ours. It was also... more peaceful and happier than how things are now. And then it was taken away.
And some of the choice on whether to appraise the comparison was also taken from you.
Nothing will get fixed, nothing can return to how things were, but butter things may get. Depending on the definition of better. Hythlodaeus is sorry that all he can offer in lieu of the beautiful world they lost is himself. Paltry, by comparison. But that is not going to stop him from being right there.
Because to him, Hades being close is enough. He grieves, of course, and Azem being here as well would have made this complete, but his heart is full as they are too. He only wishes that he could grant that peace to Hades.
But that, he knows, will take a while. And he is willing to give them both this time. ]
Your assessments - I have never found them lacking, in any way. Them, nor anything else about you.
[ There is no undoing, no remaking, no going back, and he has been forced to accept that with the most intense of reminders. The Warrior of Light had done a rather formidable job of ensuring he would not forget it.
He has time enough in the future to recover, to heal, to be whole once more, and he has the gift of Hythlodaeus at his side as well.
Laughing softly, he turns to look at his partner properly, feeling the softness overtake him. ]
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But he scoffs. ]
No, I have prepared enough of that for this lifetime.
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And while he hasn't been fully aware all the time that Hades has been waiting, Hythlodaeus has been there, severed from everything and just about everyone. So, yes, he's clinging, too. Even if it is, right now, mostly for the sake of reassuring Hades, it is a need of his own, too. ]
You have prepared? For me? [ A very theatrical, exaggerated gasp even while he doesn't move an ilm away. ] I'm flattered.
[ There is a certain amount of brooding that Hythlodaeus will dispel with utter ridiculousness. For both of them, and on the force of habits that have endured, well. A long time. ]
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It's hard not to reach, to keep and want and yearn, but he musters himself all the same. It's what little he has, what little he can do. ]
Don't take it too closely to heart.
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[ It's all right. Hythlodaeus can wait until it's again natural and right for Hades to reach for him, rather than something he needs to muster himself from doing. For now, Hythlodaeus will stay close, reminding, reminding that he won't be going away, won't be slipping out of reach again.
A soft chuckle. ]
As you wish. Though you know I am a little less particular about what I do take to heart, hmm?
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He shakes his head, looking at Hythlodaeus with a gentle, tender fondness. ]
I am well aware. You suffered me long enough.
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[ He reaches up again, hand cupping the face of the man he loves so much. ]
No time with you has involved any suffering. This, I can promise you. I ever have, and do, and ever will welcome each moment.
[ He is not going anywhere. The struggle that Emet-Selch has faced alone is over. ]
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Perhaps your definition of suffering has been altered over the years.
[ But, at least, he can lean in, accept some tenderness - even offer something of an embrace, if Hythlodaeus can figure it out. ]
But it makes me full glad to hear it.
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I rather think you found me insufferable some of the time, or so it might have looked to many. But I knew... I did not belong anywhere but at your side. And I still do.
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[ But it is meant as a joke, allowing himself, once again, to be wrapped an embrace, to let himself curl around familiarity. ]
It is a good thing we found one another again.
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[ He's absolutely keeping the lightness, though his smile softens. ]
It was never going to be otherwise. It just took a little longer than I expected. But now I am where I should be.
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[ He lifts Hythlodaeus' hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss against his fingers. ]
And I shall not allow you to leave again.
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Exactly where I was ever meant to be.
[ Without letting go, he finds a way to settle even while adrift, opening his free arm to invite his friend to be held - or even to stretch out with his head in Hythlodaeus's lap. Anything goes. ]
Come, Hades. Rest against me a while.
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As soft as you have always been.
[ But that doesn't stop him from moving, to lean, to sink into the embrace. ]
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Over this time. Did your mind play tricks on you, thinking I was harsher?
[ Mischief can be complicated, but Hythlodaeus has rarely had any desire to be unkind. But it has been so long for Hades, and time can play very unpleasant tricks. ]
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[ Memories can become clouded, darkened with danger and grief and hurt. It would come as no shock to imagine that he would damn himself with memories of a friend long gone. ]
It would not shock, I am sure.
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What else do you wonder if you remember right, then?
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[ He sounds sad; sour. ]
All this fighting for something that may not have been perfect to begin with.
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[ Hythlodaeus reaches up, cupping Hades's face with both palms. This...
He can't make it better, because while it never scarred Hythlodaeus the way it seemed to have hurt Hermes, he was not blind to the imperfection around them. The little cracks that kept Azem occupied, that necessitated the seat of the Emissary.
So he cannot reassure him that it was perfect.
But... ]
It was ours, Hades. Mine and yours and ours. It was also... more peaceful and happier than how things are now. And then it was taken away.
And some of the choice on whether to appraise the comparison was also taken from you.
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Nothing will get fixed; nothing will get better. There's no undoing it now and all they have in front of them is the possibility of a better future.
It is impossible for them to go back. He knows that now, securely. But he can wish. ]
I suppose you are correct. I have hardly had much opportunity for correct assessments.
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[ Soft, and so, so sweet.
Nothing will get fixed, nothing can return to how things were, but butter things may get. Depending on the definition of better. Hythlodaeus is sorry that all he can offer in lieu of the beautiful world they lost is himself. Paltry, by comparison. But that is not going to stop him from being right there.
Because to him, Hades being close is enough. He grieves, of course, and Azem being here as well would have made this complete, but his heart is full as they are too. He only wishes that he could grant that peace to Hades.
But that, he knows, will take a while. And he is willing to give them both this time. ]
Your assessments - I have never found them lacking, in any way. Them, nor anything else about you.
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He has time enough in the future to recover, to heal, to be whole once more, and he has the gift of Hythlodaeus at his side as well.
Laughing softly, he turns to look at his partner properly, feeling the softness overtake him. ]
You must stop complimenting me.
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[ Without even a beat of hesitation, as though the millennia between their happy days and the present have never happened.
His smile glimmers on, illuminating both his face and his aether. ]
Besides, is it a compliment when it's true?