You wound me! ( Clutching her chest, Pahja gives him an exaggerated hurt look. Still, he has been somewhat forthcoming and extremely indulgent, so Pahja doesn't mind confiding in him a little. After all, she's been wanting to reach for him again ever since he vanished before her eyes. ) What, and find myself mired in the muck of despair, weighted down by the hopes and dreams of the people who rely on me, unable to do anything but slowly walk forward?
( That... might have been too on the nose for the both of them, and Pahja winces as soon as she says it, her expression turning sympathetic. )
I wouldn't survive. Not as me, anyway. ( He knows that, surely with all that she's told him he understands. ) And it's hard to think of anything serious when there's something new to delight everywhere I look. Or of familiar things that I've known all my life just newly made.
That sounds much akin to what I would expect from what you have told us of the future. Am I to imagine that this is somehow not the case and I have been led astray by your tales of enchantments and such things?
[ He waves his hand, looking away and trying not to think about what said future holds for him. What she has told him is more than enough and his stomach knots as he thinks about it, worried for Amaurot, for his people, his paradise, his friends.
All things he is unsure he would be able to change, people he cannot protect. His failings piling higher than him, Hades, standing tall.
A sigh, then. ]
Then go and enjoy it. I cannot be so interesting that I distract you from Elpis itself. I would believe that Hythlodaeus himself would be far more suitable company.
You, ( She says, very pointedly. ) won't be rid of me so easily. I'd be lying if I said you weren't the most interesting thing to me here, beyond what I came for.
( Not through any doing of his own, mind you, but because she has always wondered what he was like before Zodiark. Before everything. The glimpses she had seen while on the First were tantalizing, they were enough to keep her from running, from mistrusting and doubting. Which did her in at the end, fine, but it wasn't as if up until that point he hadn't been honest with her.
Her hands flex as she bites back the urge to reach for him. )
Not getting to know you in my time -- I wish it could have been different. I want to know you.
Of course I am trying to be rid of you. I was attempting to work in peace, but it seems as though I will be denied on that front wherever it is that I end up.
[ Between her, Azem and Hythlodaeus there will be no rest for the wicked. Emet-Selch rather wishes he could go back to the peace and quiet of before, despite how painfully comforting all of this company is in the end of all things. He wants to keep as much of paradise to his chest as possible, especially if it might be torn from him.
The notion of him being interesting, however, makes his eyebrows raise. ]
You tell me I am not enjoying the most that Elpis has to offer and yet you choose to know me? I think you may need a healer sooner rather than later.
( Is he going to make her explain it? Pahja sighs, chewing on her lip and flashing a small fang at the same time in the face of his adorable exasperation. She'd thought before that was just the weight of thousands of years before, but it is far more reassuring to know he has simply always been like that.
It does get a laugh out of her, a hand coming up to run through her hair -- a sure sign of her exhaustion. Pahja is so very tired, but restlessly so. A bone deep weariness that somehow is lightened by the mere act of talking to him. )
Maybe. My friends back home would agree with you. ( She can just imagine Thancred's face. ) But I thought-- I mean, back when you liked to pop in and editorialize my progress there was more to you and I than the fact we were at odds.
( She thought there was something there, foolishly so. A shrug, conveying her obvious misinterpretation of the situation. )
Even after being corrected I just couldn't stop thinking about what I didn't get to know about you, about where you come from. Who you were.
Then perhaps you might listen to your friends more and speak less of me.
[ The notion of her knowing so much of him has him on edge, a sharpness to him that has him wanting to lash out. She had been so small once, barely physical until he had been the one to give her Aether, and while he does not regret it... Some part of him wishes that he had forgotten to give her a tongue to speak with.
He sighs, leaning back in his chair and letting his eyes drag over her. She is a mystery indeed, this strange little being, and he cannot find it quite within his means to dismiss her entirely. Not when she knows so much, not when she is, in her own words, here to find knowledge, succour and guidance. Hythlodaeus would have his head for denying her anything.
Opening one eye, he looks over at her. ]
If you are so determined then, please. Consider me a book for you to peruse at your will, strange little hero.
( Where would be the fun in that, listening to her friends and ignoring him? If she had, Pahja doubts they would have ended the way they did -- she doesn't listen to anyone, really, and so far it's turned out alright for her in some way or another.
That her determination yet wins him over is a victory in of itself, and her ears perk up in obvious approval. )
Oh, Most Eminent Emet-Selch, how kind of you. ( A pause, and then: ) Let's start somewhere easy -- why did you accept the seat of Emet-Selch in the first place?
[ He rolls his eyes, but at least he means to answer her question. It's a thoughtful one to say the least; few would question why anyone might become one of the Fourteen these days, with their power and wisdom. It is his reason for being here, after all, to urge another to come to the seat.
A hum. ]
I wished to protect Amaurot. Who would not? I am aware I was not their first choice, but I saw no reason to refuse the role.
( A noble goal, one she understands. And how it could twist given enough time and grief into a desperation to bring it back. Would she not do the same? Was she not trying to insure her world's safety?
Her face sobers, giving him a small nod of acknowledgement. )
From the little I saw, I can see why. It... it might have been lesser than it was in life, but it was gorgeous. I would have liked it, I think. You said as much too, once.
( She would have loved to have seen it, bright and full of life. )
You must have liked specific parts of it more than most -- tell me of those.
You would. I cannot imagine a single person who would not find something to enjoy about the place.
[ He is genuine in that, it seems, voice soft as he thinks on it. The notion that his world might soon come to be destroyed, that so many ill things will happen to those he cares for, makes his heart ache somewhere deep inside of him. He wants not to think of it, but some things cannot be undone.
The questions come and he answers each, careful and honest, until he is waving his hand and rubbing his eyes. ]
Surely you are bored of me now. Is there nothing else you that might be a better use of your time? Spend it well, for it seems we've not long left of it.
( It's a small tease, for she knows she's taken up enough of his time -- especially since he's one for resting at every chance given. Pahja slips off her chair, about to make her way out, before an idea hits her. )
Aye, I think there's one thing left undone. Forgive my indiscretion, oh Emet-Selch, but I have wanted to do this for ages now. ( Which is to say she uses his seated position to her advantage to kiss him briefly on the lips, grinning as she does. Quick for she doesn't want to upset him overmuch but she's only going to have this one chance and she doesn't want to waste it. ) There. Curiosity satisfied.
I have an eternity. I am sure, given time, your opinion will change.
[ It's not as though he is bothered particularly; he has nothing else that he might have been spending his time doing. Hythlodaeus is far away from him now and Hermes is busy trying to make a decision for his future.
Emet-Selch may as well entertain their little familiar hero.
His thoughts are dug out when she leans forward and kisses him, his eyes widening briefly, almost panicked, before he leans down to look at her properly. ]
( She laughs at that, though not meanly. Apparently Emet is far thicker headed than she'd thought, although she wisely keeps that assessment to herself. One final judgement she can keep tucked close to her heart to make her smile in darker times. )
Because I rather like you. And I wanted to, ever since you asked me if I knew how to whistle. ( Emet won't understand, but that's alright. He doesn't have to. Shrugging, Pahja continues. ) It might be my last and only chance to see what it was like.
[ His eyes narrow a little as she laughs, as if there's some kind of ploy or game to be undone - but she continues, and some of that tension fades away.
It's rare that people show an interest in him, that people show any kind of desire towards him, Emet-Selch as he is, and his hesitation is clear. ]
Are you planning on dying some time soon? You have time. It is I, I think, that does not.
Perhaps. ( And perhaps she needs to spell it out for him. Pahja takes a moment to settle herself -- straddling his lap, since he has made no move to put space between them -- before continuing on. ) But when I say that you are dead to me, I am not speaking in poetic terms. I killed you, Emet-Selch, because that was the only way forward.
( Her head bows, forehead softly thunking against his as she rests them together. )
I wanted to know what kissing you is like. Not just anyone, but you. Emet-Selch. Hades.
Ah. [ He isn't sure if he should be offended or not, if he should somehow be upset or dismayed that he dies at her hand. If there was anyone who had the strength to kill him then it would surely be her, coloured as Azem and someone he is more than a little desperate to keep close.
His heart aches a little, and his stomach feels as though it is in knots.
Head turning, still resting on hers, he sighs. ]
And how was it, kissing the honourable Hades as he is?
I've been told that, for an accurate conclusion, you must attempt an experiment more than once.
( Which does mean that she will attempt to kiss him again, her hand coming up to cup his cheek while the other snakes across his shoulders to hold him. There is a gentle curiosity in the way she kisses him but also a sharp, desperate ache to her grip, her touch.
She wants to remember this, to have this, even with she will have nothing else. )
You have been spending too much time with Hermes -
[ There's nothing of an 'attempt' about it; Hades reaches for her carefully, drawing her closer and near enough onto his lap, breathing out a little through his nose, tilting his head. He feels as though he is the victim of her wants and her passions, shaking his head as he lets himself indulge.
She wants him, desperately, and he can sense it. There is going to be so much pain in her future, that he knows, and there is nothing he can do about it other than give her what she wants. ]
( She would let him pull away or shove her off if he wanted. Pahja has no desire to pressure anyone into something they were not willing to do when possible -- she is tired from always turning to violence to solve problems but... perhaps they shouldn't be solved by violence in the first place.
It's a thought she shoves to the side as they kiss, humming happily when they break apart though she doesn't go far. )
Better when you kiss back. ( Her eyes turn sad, a weight resettling over her shoulders. A part of her wishes to stay, to see how far they are both willing to let this go, but she has imposed enough. ) I won't keep you -- thank you.
[ It seems he is more baffled or confused than he is anything else; given what he knows of her future, what little she has told him, he can see no reason why she might want to kiss him above all others. Instead, all he can do is stare at her, a little lost. ]
I was hardly given the opportunity.
[ He shakes his head, shoulders lifting absently. ]
Is that it, then? You come, bombard me with questions and then steal kisses like a thief in the night?
( That takes her aback, eyes widening in shock at what he might be implying. Pahja doesn't move from her spot in his lap, but instead searches his face for any clue that the conversation shouldn't lead where she wants it to.
Finding none, she shrugs. Not sheepishly, but a little chastised. )
I didn't want to assume. Not more than I already have.
( But-- Pahja leans in, grin slowly spreading over her face. )
However if there are no objections I wouldn't mind-- well. Whatever you'd like .
[ There's a sour arrogance to him that has yet to evolve into the sad, unfortunate soul that he will soon become, and now he is more put out and frustrated. It is clear that she wants him, as he becomes, but as he is now?
He is uncertain of her wants, her desires, and has not been given much of a chance to experience it himself. ]
And yet here we are, me with a familiar on my lap and you with kisses burning your lips.
[ Lifting his head, he gazes at her, some warmth slipping into his features. ]
I believe I would be willing to give you near anything you asked for.
( A small, gentle tease as she presses another kiss against the corner of his mouth, more bold and far more lingering. This is a freedom she never expected, the ability to know this him, to kiss him without the burdens on his soul or the grief. It isn't a matter of preferring one over the other but rather having both pieces of a whole. )
[ His head turns a little, brushing his mouth over hers again. It feels odd, to be so close to someone, to be sharing kisses, but it is not something he dislikes. His fingers lift, brushing through her hair. ]
I spend my hours with Hythlodaeus. I am oft used to dangerous.
( The kiss makes her hum in sheer joy, and she can't remember when the last time she felt such a thing. So many of her emotions lately have been tempered by some darker thing, the weight of a job not finished, the knowledge that there will be another thing that needs her soon. But here, while they wait, there is none of that.
Pahja can appreciate that, and smiles against his lips. )
Aye, so I've gathered. ( Her head falls against his hands, encouraging him to run his fingers through her hair more. A rumble starts in her chest as he does so, a sound that is unmistakable as a purr. ) Would you spend what night we have left with me, Emet-Selch? I know much of you now, but the promise of knowing more, of knowing what you feel like as you thrust into me --
( Her gaze turns almost predatory, sharp and eager. )
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You wound me! ( Clutching her chest, Pahja gives him an exaggerated hurt look. Still, he has been somewhat forthcoming and extremely indulgent, so Pahja doesn't mind confiding in him a little. After all, she's been wanting to reach for him again ever since he vanished before her eyes. ) What, and find myself mired in the muck of despair, weighted down by the hopes and dreams of the people who rely on me, unable to do anything but slowly walk forward?
( That... might have been too on the nose for the both of them, and Pahja winces as soon as she says it, her expression turning sympathetic. )
I wouldn't survive. Not as me, anyway. ( He knows that, surely with all that she's told him he understands. ) And it's hard to think of anything serious when there's something new to delight everywhere I look. Or of familiar things that I've known all my life just newly made.
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That sounds much akin to what I would expect from what you have told us of the future. Am I to imagine that this is somehow not the case and I have been led astray by your tales of enchantments and such things?
[ He waves his hand, looking away and trying not to think about what said future holds for him. What she has told him is more than enough and his stomach knots as he thinks about it, worried for Amaurot, for his people, his paradise, his friends.
All things he is unsure he would be able to change, people he cannot protect. His failings piling higher than him, Hades, standing tall.
A sigh, then. ]
Then go and enjoy it. I cannot be so interesting that I distract you from Elpis itself. I would believe that Hythlodaeus himself would be far more suitable company.
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You, ( She says, very pointedly. ) won't be rid of me so easily. I'd be lying if I said you weren't the most interesting thing to me here, beyond what I came for.
( Not through any doing of his own, mind you, but because she has always wondered what he was like before Zodiark. Before everything. The glimpses she had seen while on the First were tantalizing, they were enough to keep her from running, from mistrusting and doubting. Which did her in at the end, fine, but it wasn't as if up until that point he hadn't been honest with her.
Her hands flex as she bites back the urge to reach for him. )
Not getting to know you in my time -- I wish it could have been different. I want to know you.
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[ Between her, Azem and Hythlodaeus there will be no rest for the wicked. Emet-Selch rather wishes he could go back to the peace and quiet of before, despite how painfully comforting all of this company is in the end of all things. He wants to keep as much of paradise to his chest as possible, especially if it might be torn from him.
The notion of him being interesting, however, makes his eyebrows raise. ]
You tell me I am not enjoying the most that Elpis has to offer and yet you choose to know me? I think you may need a healer sooner rather than later.
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It does get a laugh out of her, a hand coming up to run through her hair -- a sure sign of her exhaustion. Pahja is so very tired, but restlessly so. A bone deep weariness that somehow is lightened by the mere act of talking to him. )
Maybe. My friends back home would agree with you. ( She can just imagine Thancred's face. ) But I thought-- I mean, back when you liked to pop in and editorialize my progress there was more to you and I than the fact we were at odds.
( She thought there was something there, foolishly so. A shrug, conveying her obvious misinterpretation of the situation. )
Even after being corrected I just couldn't stop thinking about what I didn't get to know about you, about where you come from. Who you were.
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[ The notion of her knowing so much of him has him on edge, a sharpness to him that has him wanting to lash out. She had been so small once, barely physical until he had been the one to give her Aether, and while he does not regret it... Some part of him wishes that he had forgotten to give her a tongue to speak with.
He sighs, leaning back in his chair and letting his eyes drag over her. She is a mystery indeed, this strange little being, and he cannot find it quite within his means to dismiss her entirely. Not when she knows so much, not when she is, in her own words, here to find knowledge, succour and guidance. Hythlodaeus would have his head for denying her anything.
Opening one eye, he looks over at her. ]
If you are so determined then, please. Consider me a book for you to peruse at your will, strange little hero.
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That her determination yet wins him over is a victory in of itself, and her ears perk up in obvious approval. )
Oh, Most Eminent Emet-Selch, how kind of you. ( A pause, and then: ) Let's start somewhere easy -- why did you accept the seat of Emet-Selch in the first place?
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[ He rolls his eyes, but at least he means to answer her question. It's a thoughtful one to say the least; few would question why anyone might become one of the Fourteen these days, with their power and wisdom. It is his reason for being here, after all, to urge another to come to the seat.
A hum. ]
I wished to protect Amaurot. Who would not? I am aware I was not their first choice, but I saw no reason to refuse the role.
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Her face sobers, giving him a small nod of acknowledgement. )
From the little I saw, I can see why. It... it might have been lesser than it was in life, but it was gorgeous. I would have liked it, I think. You said as much too, once.
( She would have loved to have seen it, bright and full of life. )
You must have liked specific parts of it more than most -- tell me of those.
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[ He is genuine in that, it seems, voice soft as he thinks on it. The notion that his world might soon come to be destroyed, that so many ill things will happen to those he cares for, makes his heart ache somewhere deep inside of him. He wants not to think of it, but some things cannot be undone.
The questions come and he answers each, careful and honest, until he is waving his hand and rubbing his eyes. ]
Surely you are bored of me now. Is there nothing else you that might be a better use of your time? Spend it well, for it seems we've not long left of it.
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( It's a small tease, for she knows she's taken up enough of his time -- especially since he's one for resting at every chance given. Pahja slips off her chair, about to make her way out, before an idea hits her. )
Aye, I think there's one thing left undone. Forgive my indiscretion, oh Emet-Selch, but I have wanted to do this for ages now. ( Which is to say she uses his seated position to her advantage to kiss him briefly on the lips, grinning as she does. Quick for she doesn't want to upset him overmuch but she's only going to have this one chance and she doesn't want to waste it. ) There. Curiosity satisfied.
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[ It's not as though he is bothered particularly; he has nothing else that he might have been spending his time doing. Hythlodaeus is far away from him now and Hermes is busy trying to make a decision for his future.
Emet-Selch may as well entertain their little familiar hero.
His thoughts are dug out when she leans forward and kisses him, his eyes widening briefly, almost panicked, before he leans down to look at her properly. ]
Why?
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( She laughs at that, though not meanly. Apparently Emet is far thicker headed than she'd thought, although she wisely keeps that assessment to herself. One final judgement she can keep tucked close to her heart to make her smile in darker times. )
Because I rather like you. And I wanted to, ever since you asked me if I knew how to whistle. ( Emet won't understand, but that's alright. He doesn't have to. Shrugging, Pahja continues. ) It might be my last and only chance to see what it was like.
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It's rare that people show an interest in him, that people show any kind of desire towards him, Emet-Selch as he is, and his hesitation is clear. ]
Are you planning on dying some time soon? You have time. It is I, I think, that does not.
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( Her head bows, forehead softly thunking against his as she rests them together. )
I wanted to know what kissing you is like. Not just anyone, but you. Emet-Selch. Hades.
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His heart aches a little, and his stomach feels as though it is in knots.
Head turning, still resting on hers, he sighs. ]
And how was it, kissing the honourable Hades as he is?
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( Which does mean that she will attempt to kiss him again, her hand coming up to cup his cheek while the other snakes across his shoulders to hold him. There is a gentle curiosity in the way she kisses him but also a sharp, desperate ache to her grip, her touch.
She wants to remember this, to have this, even with she will have nothing else. )
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[ There's nothing of an 'attempt' about it; Hades reaches for her carefully, drawing her closer and near enough onto his lap, breathing out a little through his nose, tilting his head. He feels as though he is the victim of her wants and her passions, shaking his head as he lets himself indulge.
She wants him, desperately, and he can sense it. There is going to be so much pain in her future, that he knows, and there is nothing he can do about it other than give her what she wants. ]
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It's a thought she shoves to the side as they kiss, humming happily when they break apart though she doesn't go far. )
Better when you kiss back. ( Her eyes turn sad, a weight resettling over her shoulders. A part of her wishes to stay, to see how far they are both willing to let this go, but she has imposed enough. ) I won't keep you -- thank you.
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I was hardly given the opportunity.
[ He shakes his head, shoulders lifting absently. ]
Is that it, then? You come, bombard me with questions and then steal kisses like a thief in the night?
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Finding none, she shrugs. Not sheepishly, but a little chastised. )
I didn't want to assume. Not more than I already have.
( But-- Pahja leans in, grin slowly spreading over her face. )
However if there are no objections I wouldn't mind-- well. Whatever you'd like .
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He is uncertain of her wants, her desires, and has not been given much of a chance to experience it himself. ]
And yet here we are, me with a familiar on my lap and you with kisses burning your lips.
[ Lifting his head, he gazes at her, some warmth slipping into his features. ]
I believe I would be willing to give you near anything you asked for.
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( A small, gentle tease as she presses another kiss against the corner of his mouth, more bold and far more lingering. This is a freedom she never expected, the ability to know this him, to kiss him without the burdens on his soul or the grief. It isn't a matter of preferring one over the other but rather having both pieces of a whole. )
That is a dangerous thing to say, Emet-Selch.
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[ His head turns a little, brushing his mouth over hers again. It feels odd, to be so close to someone, to be sharing kisses, but it is not something he dislikes. His fingers lift, brushing through her hair. ]
I spend my hours with Hythlodaeus. I am oft used to dangerous.
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Pahja can appreciate that, and smiles against his lips. )
Aye, so I've gathered. ( Her head falls against his hands, encouraging him to run his fingers through her hair more. A rumble starts in her chest as he does so, a sound that is unmistakable as a purr. ) Would you spend what night we have left with me, Emet-Selch? I know much of you now, but the promise of knowing more, of knowing what you feel like as you thrust into me --
( Her gaze turns almost predatory, sharp and eager. )
Would that interest you?
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tsundere baby time
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